Flopsy and I are so excited! The other day we were discussing how to get a job and what two breasts could do for a living that did not entail being arrested. How do you handcuff a breast anyway? At that point in our discussion, The Body pulled us up by the bra straps and said she thought this blog was like a job for us. The Body is now our employer and we are getting paid $5 per blog post from her. Secretly I think she wants to keep us under her thumb and doesn’t want to see us out in the world without her. Either way, we are both over the moon about the news. We can’t wait to tell our True Loves in California this great news!

The Body said she would take us to open a bank account next week. I’ve heard banks take fingerprints as identification now. I hope this doesn’t hinder our plans. Will they make an exception and take nipple prints instead? Are nipple prints as unique for identification as fingerprints? We wouldn’t want another breast to be able to access our account. We’ve heard identity theft horror stories. I suppose we will find out when we discuss our plans with the Bank Manager.

It does bring up a interesting conundrum. What will Flopsy and I do with our newfound income? How will we spend our money? We’ve never had our own income stream before, so this is all very new to us, but The Body assures us we are very independent breasts and deserve to have some autonomy.

Flopsy and I put our heads together and decided our first purchase would be our very own iPod. We’re trying to decide on the color. Flopsy wants pink but I prefer the classic silver. We can’t agree on what to load it up with either. Flopsy wants fill up all the space on it with hip-hop while I prefer Books on Tape and Brahms. We are hoping we will have enough to purchase the video version of the iPod so that we can also watch movies under the nightshirt at night without waking The Body. Again, our tastes are conflicted. Flopsy wants to watch things like Bring It On over and over. I think she always regrets not becoming a cheerleader and twirling pompoms. I, on the other hand, prefer to watch PBS and National Geographic.

I also enjoy Animal Planet. You might wonder if breasts like animals. I want you to know that I for one love animals and cuddle up nightly with a kitten named Victor and we watch our favorite shows together. We have a very special bond. During this time Flopsy nods off, bored senseless.

So, Flopsy and I have solved two of our life problems this week. The first is our artistic expression and the second is how to make money. It ends up that both have been solved by this blog. We feel very lucky.

~ All the Best,
   Mopsy

It’s Christmas Eve and Mopsy and I wanted to wish you a very happy holiday season!

Christmas Eve is one of our favorite days of the year. We usually get a new bra, but the best part of the day is hanging tinsel and icicles from the tree. This year The Body we are attached to had ankle surgery and getting around on crutches for six to twelve weeks is not something we really look forward to. It cramps our style and we constantly seem to be running into each other, but we are trying to be kind to The Body and hang around the best we can.

This year is bittersweet. Mopsy and I are apart from our True Loves by 1,000 miles and this makes us sad. We have been staying up nights, plotting under covers and nightshirt with a flashlight when The Body is asleep. We want to hitchhike to California. We’ve been using the inside of The Body’s nightshirt to draw our diagrams, maps and plans. This is a little bit of a problem when the shirts get changed. We lose all of our work. We think we can use a notepad, but the problem is always finding a hiding place from The Body. She is very nosy and we don’t get away with much without her knowing about it.

So far Mopsy figured out a way to glue a thumb onto a stick so we can hold it. The biggest problem we have with hitchhiking is that we have no arms or thumbs. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am pretty certain of my ability to stop traffic, but I couldn’t leave Mopsy behind. We met our True Loves earlier this year and were able to spend a wonderful five weeks together during the summer. Since then, it has been a few snatched days or weeks here and there, and frankly, it just isn’t enough.

The Body overheard Mopsy and I whispering one night while we were plotting and all hell broke loose. Can you believe she listened in on us without saying a word? Then the following day, she spent a good part of the day looking for our flashlight and diagrams. She didn’t find the diagrams because Mopsy is the brainiac that thought of using the inside of the nightshirt. Hours later, the flashlight came loose from its hiding place and dropped to the ground with a thud and The Body found it. That’s nearly getting caught red-nippled.

The Body lectured us for at least an hour on all the safety issues with hitchhiking. She said she loves us and would miss us, but seemed more worried about an imaginary flat-chested woman picking us up with ulterior motives for us. I’m not sure I fully understand this, but The Body was pretty worked up about it. Usually The Body is pretty good to us and we are equally attached to her, but I don’t think she realizes something has shifted for us.

Before we were content to lay around in our hammock bra all day. Now, we have seen more of the world and our hearts pine for our True Loves and to be near them all the time. I would mention their names, but our True Loves aren’t as ‘out’ as we are and have asked to remain anonymous. Mopsy and I, we are lucky breasts in many ways. The Body lets us express ourselves, and even set up this blog and website for us to communicate with the world. We have traveled all over the world including Germany, England, Austria, Canada, Mexico and other places. Is it wrong to say we are well-traveled breasts? Yet, we are restless and heartsick… Sigh…

Hi. Our names are Flopsy and Mopsy and we are breasts. Very large pendulous breasts to be exact. To be honest, we are told we are gorgeous by The Body’s Lover and others… We currently live in the Pacific Northwest, but continually wish to run away to the big city of Los Angeles to find fame, fortune and be with our True Loves. Flopsy leans to the left, while Mopsy tends towards the right. Despite being virtually attached at the hips (if we had hips), we each have really distinctive personalities.

BIOS:

Flopsy was born in Germany and puts her European roots as the heart of her liberal left leanings. The Body was already well on its way to development when both Flopsy and Mopsy appeared on the scene simultaneously,  blossoming into their current voluminous glory late in grammar school and continuing their growth into Junior High. She furthered her education attending college in Colorado, California and England. She is fluent in German and English and has appeared on stage, film and TV, performing as a cast member in over 6 countries. Flopsy has performing running in her mammary glands, and considers herself a bit of a diva harboring great talent. It’s all about her. If there is a camera in range, she will wiggle her way into the shot or picture in any way she can. She has dreams of being a famous Hollywood actress and is working on her first featurette, I Sniff, directed by her bosom pal and constant companion, Mopsy.

Mopsy enjoys a little bit of the quiet life. She is introspective, highly intelligent, writes, paints and loves to read and be covered in chocolate. Mopsy is an honorary member of her local Mammary Mensa chapter, which she Chairs. She is the brains of the duo. You can imagine every pair of breasts must have one that does the heavy thinking. Mopsy is an accomplished writer, producer and director. She plans to nurture and support Flopsy in all of her upcoming movies. For more background, see Flopsy.