Mopsy and I went on strike. We were really frustrated with The Body. As you know, she promised to take us to the bank to open our own account last week. Though we drove past many banks, we never stopped. She said there was not enough time, and since she cannot drive due to the ankle surgery and recovery, we all have to rely on other people to drive us everywhere.

Mopsy and I tried pouting, whining, pleading and ended the week twiddling our nipples in anticipation. We decided the only way to spur The Body into action was to go on strike. Mopsy and I promised not to write any more blog posts until The Body made good on her promise. Now we understand the power of unions, and might even start a Boobie Union in the future. It worked!

Yesterday The Body took us to the bank. After much research, we decided to open our account at Wells Fargo Bank. It’s reputable, close to home and they also have locations in Southern California so we can take our True Loves out on a date when we are there. It was either that or Bank of America, and several years ago The Body had a bad experience with B of A, so she refused to take us there.

It was a very cold day Tuesday, so Mopsy and I decided it would be prudent to put on our striped wool knit hats so we wouldn’t get too nipply. Mopsy pointed out that if we had to sign our signature cards today, and wrote a check during summer, they might question our nipple prints if we were too cold due to the weather. We needn’t have worried. The air conditioning blasted so strongly in the bank, despite  the cold weather outside, that we had no choice as to the stance of our nipples. As soon as we removed our wool hats, our nipples went all pointy anyway.

We sat down with the branch manager, a lovely woman with the name of Eunice Von Mahkedep, to start our new financial journey. We had a lot of questions for her and worked up a list the week before. Sadly, The Body irritatingly changed her shirt and our notes were on the inside of her nightshirt. We had to wing it from memory.

Eunice insisted we call her by her first name. She was very helpful and explained the different options in savings, checking and money market accounts. She commended us on our entrepreneurial spirit. We did get some bad news though. Ends up nipple prints are not an accepted form of identification since there is no database as of yet for them. Our spirits dropped and we sagged a little at the news.

Eunice came up with a solution for our situation and we perked right back up. She suggested that The Body open the account, and have our names on the account as well. This means The Body will have to supply the fingerprint, but Mopsy and I can sign our checks by using our nipples. It was a great compromise, even though we really wanted to do this all on our own. We are attached to The Body, so I suppose it will have to do.

I asked for a copy of the signature card so we could share it with you, but Eunice suggested this might be a security risk. She is absolutely right. There are so many things that two breasts need to consider when venturing into financial freedom.

This means that Mopsy and I now have a job, a checking account and a goal. Once we have some money socked away, we will expand, opening a savings and a money market account. The future looks bright and we are very excited!

Yours Dearly,

~ Flopsy