As you may have heard from Mopsy, I have been grounded by The Body. I discovered how to make cell phone calls from The Body’s phone. It’s an imprecise thing, breasts making phone calls. As often happens, I misdialed and ended up having a sparkling conversation with a woman named Carmelita on Grand Cayman Island.

Ends up Carmelita lives near the Boatswain’s Beach Cayman Turtle Farm. She has a deep love for the turtles, she told me. As I was speaking with Carmelita, Mopsy nudged me and told me to ask her about offshore banking. I didn’t know what that was, but asked her anyway.

She told me that her friend deals with offshore accounts, and if you make a lot of money in the United States, it is a good idea. Maybe Mopsy is onto something. We should try to shelter our vast income. We are independent breasts, after all. Part of being independent breasts is being responsible with our money.

At any rate, one thing led to another, and we stayed on the phone for about an hour or two while The Body snored away. Although The Body has an unlimited cell phone plan, she does get charged for international calls. How was I to know that the Grand Cayman Islands was long distance? I mean we have a Grand Canyon here in the States, don’t we?

The Body usually never notices when Mopsy and I have made phone calls on her cell phone, but this time she noticed the call. She also noticed when I put Carmelita on speed dial and called her back the next three nights.

The Body pulled me aside (and I can tell you, being ‘pulled aside’ for a breast is not at all a comfortable thing) and we had a long talk. She explained to me, using a globe as a visual aide. I was a little offended. I mean, I knew the world was round.

The Body took a magic marker and drew an outline around what she called “her calling area”. Read: acceptable places for me to call. Then she pointed to where Carmelita lives. Clearly outside this magic line.

I suppose I am lucky that I only got grounded. Next time, The Body said that any international calls will come out of my wages.

I am a little sad. Having made a new not-so-bosom buddy in Carmelita, I now need to figure out how we can still keep in touch. I thought about sending her a postcard, but I don’t have her address. Do you think she would get a postcard if I sent it to the Turtle Farm, care of Carmelita? I also didn’t ask for her email or IM. I never once thought the rug would be pulled out from under my new friendship. When she’s in a better mood, I’ll have to renegotiate with The Body.

I feel very lucky that my True Love isn’t the jealous type. After all, Carmelita and I are just friends.

The Body let me do this post, but I can’t touch the computer or phone for an entire week. While I am grounded, you might notice more posts from Mopsy, but I will be back really soon.

Lots of My Fabulous Love,

Flopsy